#the lesson being: sometimes you cannot stop people from being hurt even if you really really love them and it would make you sad

[july-19th-club]

the brilliance of mystery spot, in the canon of famous time loops, is that your ordinary time loop ending is like, the final thing that the characters need to solve or defeat in the story in order to move on. in mystery spot, the time loop ends halfway through the episode and then things stop being fun in any way and just get a thousand times worse . the time loop was a lesson, punishment, ironic/poetic situation, sure, but in its own repetitive way it was also protecting the characters, keeping them from having to face the consequences by always resetting them to a time before disaster strikes. breaking out of the loop only makes disaster more permanent, and then you find out that they're just in a longer version of the loop

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I want you to know I respect your opinion and at the end of the day you can do whatever you want on your own page, which I love all the art you do. Your White Diamond AU is so remarkable I've added it to my own headcanon idea of Steven meeting his alternate selves.

With that said, why are you responding to posts or asks that talk about blatant shattering of other gems? Real SU fans don't immediately go "death to the enemy." Real SU fans understand that SU is about love, acceptance, second chances, and pacifism. I'll admit, there have been more idiots in the fandom since the show's end, but in my humble opinion, it's best to not give any of them attention, even if they are annoying.

Sorry if I sound rude, I just didn't get responding to that one ANONYMOUS comment.

It's not rude at all! And it's a great question! One I understand the reasoning of.

But I have my own reasoning for doing the things I do.

Mainly, I think that while ignoring SOME behaviors is definitely good.... talking about OTHER behaviors actively is the fastest and healthiest way to immunize the greater community against them.

Let me explain.

I've been in this fandom a long time now, and I agree with you - there's a solid possibility, a real chance that whoever sent that message is just a passing non-fan who decided to be weirdly edgy in my inbox. No big deal. It happens.

But in my experience, the SU fandom is.... wide and varied. There are people of all ages, and many opinions. It would be easier, of course, if the only 'true fans' were those who perfectly understood the show's themes. But to me, that veers dangerously close to a No True Scotsman type of thinking. The reality is that many different people watch SU. And while many of them do inherently agree with the message and understand the nuance, many more just watch the show because... they like the surface level graphics and cool fights and interesting worldbuilding. In fact, many of the show's fans are edgy teens (sorry edgy teens) who are in a life-stage where violence and being strong and cool and decisive in a morally black and white manner is the only way they can possibly imagine solving any problem. And... that's kinda the opposite of what SU teaches! But that's also the point. SU teaches those things on purpose.

And yeah, I can absolutely just ignore this part of the population. But ignoring a behavior does not actually make it go away 100% of the time. If a child in a supermarket comes up to you and starts smacking you with a wooden spoon from Aisle 4, then... sure... you can ignore them and see if their parent comes to get them, or they go away, especially if it's a very small child and they're not hurting you a lot.

But that's not the only option. You can ALSO opt to teach them - and any other spoon-wielding children watching - what COULD happen if they are crude or cruel to a stranger in public. Namely, you can snap 'stop it' and at the very least glare at that child. This is a lesson that will arguably teach them more about the interaction than a complete lack of reaction would.

Now, I'm not saying people who send me asks are all children and I'm doling out some moral lessons here. This is just a metaphor.

I'm simply a person in a social space (tumblr) who is driving my own blog. And while I DO ignore a very large part of cruel/rude asks I get (trust me, I do ignore many!) I sometimes also just post a reply to show what ELSE could happen if you say a borderline silly and arguably tonally inappropriate ask to a person. You could get replied to! In a sarcastic or snappy manner!

And maybe - just maybe - the other people reading my blog can learn something from the experience, and think 'ah, so doing it like THAT will maybe make people kinda annoyed, now I know and will not do that'.

I cannot deny that overall I agree with you, though. I don't think that these types of messages deserve attention on the regular. But I'd hope that my replies to these things are not really... regular. I ignore probably... 80% of these sort of things? I guess maybe it just feels like a lot less, since, well. The public ones are 100% of the ones you get to see!

[bonefall]

it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness

Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.

They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?

This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.

I just...

OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.

But it did not stop.

THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.

And yet... it continued.

They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.

A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;

Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.

I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."

Sometimes, even, in "groups."

Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."

Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗

DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous

Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.

[jadeacereigen]

i also always felt like the fandom depicting reigen's childhood as abusive and neglectful never really quite fit. i know that most of it is probably just projection, and it's something i really understand because i've done it before with other characters.

i feel like there's a difference between giving a character trauma that makes sense when taking their canon self into account and giving a character trauma for other unrelated reasons, like comfort or even for fun, to be able to explore the scenarios that would come with it. both are very valid. let the people do what they want, y'know?

but something i feel like people tend to gloss over sometimes is that parents can fuck up when raising you and still not be outright shitty evil people. they can judge you on your career choices and still love you. your friends can make an off the cuff comment that ends up sticking with you in a bad way without realizing, people can suck at showing they care about you while still caring about you, they can be imperfect just as much as you are. it's their first time on this earth too. and it doesn't excuse the times they may have hurt you or made you feel bad about yourself, but it's up to you if you wanna keep them in your life. everyone can change, but that's also up to them.

it gives reigen an added charm [or should i say humanity?], to know that he is a flawed person and that it stems from the things that happened when he was younger, and the people that were in his life, and to know that things don't need to be catastrophic for them to affect and/or change you, whether good or bad. it's a good thing to remember i think. to know that there's so many greys between the white and black. that he has layers. his experiences are very valid.

anywho. sorry for the long ramble i just had to get this out there hehe.

ask game time!!!! 25, 9 and 22

Oh my god no don't apologize you're so right. I agree 100% so I'm gonna answer with my own long ramble.

(Discussions of child abuse below, though nothing that's not present in MP100 canon.)

Yes, it almost feels like people want to dismiss all flawed parenting and strained relationships between parent and child as abuse. There's certainly something very wrong with Reigen and his parents' relationship but I'm gonna be honest, I don't understand how people can find redemption in Toichiro who literally beat up his own son but then at the same time demonize Reigen's parents for the crime of disapproving his life as a CONMAN.

Yes, Reigen actually helps his clients and refuses to take money for things he cannot fix, but he's an incredibly special case and his parents are like most people who have no clue that the supernatural is even real. I personally think IRL psychics are full of shit and prey on the naive and emotionally vulnerable. If I had a kid who quit their normal job and spent all their savings to become a psychic I would not be happy with them! I would hope I wouldn't be as cold and that they wouldn't live in fear of my messages to them but I would definitely be encouraging them to stop that shit and get a "real job". To think that his parents should support his choices in life when he's pretending to be a psychic with no additional context is wild to me. (Also, I can't find the translation anymore but Reigen says in the fanbook that his mom thinks he's being tricked into doing his current job.) Again, they could go about this in a much better way but this disapproval does not inherently point to abuse.

(Sorry this rant got very long so everything else is below the cut.)

I think the biggest thing that points to Reigen's parents not being as awful as they are in fan content is that even after Reigen gets publicly exposed for being a con artist, his mom does tell him to learn his lesson from this but she also takes the time to prepare him an apology, tells him that he should come home (instead of telling him he's not welcome home/disowning him) and emphasizes that she's on his side. Maybe you could consider that the bare minimum of a decent parent but this to me just doesn't feel like she's the hateful abusive mother so often depicted. She could be warmer about it but she's obviously super concerned and wants Reigen to know she cares about him regardless of his actions.

(As for his dad, all we know is that he and Reigen don't talk to each other at all and that he thinks Reigen is unemployed. This relationship is definitely worse than Reigen and his mom's but there's little to go off of in terms of if his dad is a terrible parent or not. His mom seems to think he's worried about Reigen and that would definitely not surprise me.)

In terms of how Reigen feels about his parents, in the fanbook he acknowledges that there have been misunderstandings from both sides and that he'd like to talk things out with them and visit them more often. That's such a real thing lots of people can relate to and I'd love to see that get explored! I want to see Reigen patch things up with his parents! Maybe I'll write out my stupid fic idea for it idk.

I also don't want to stereotype but I am from an East Asian family myself and grew up surrounded by others so I feel like it's safe for me to say that Reigen's parents really remind me of your typical older generation of Asian parents. (Reigen was born in 1984 so his parents would definitely be of the boomer ilk, potentially even the Silent Generation if they had him on the older side.) Reigen also says in the fanbook that his parents are very serious people. Oftentimes with that older generation they just don't really show their care the way you'd normally see it. There may never be any "I love yous" but they'll cut you a plate of fruit without you asking or remember the show you liked 10 years ago and assume you're still into it...

Of course, parental norms in a culture don't justify hurtful parenting. (I mean just watch Everything Everywhere All At Once if you want to see the pain of having a disapproving Asian parent despite knowing they love you and just want what they think is best for you.) His mom fussing over his job and his lack of a girlfriend may be a super "Asian parent" thing, but it definitely hurts Reigen's feelings and she should cut that out. So yeah, Reigen's parents could do a lot better in terms of making Reigen feel supported and loved regardless if they approve of his life choices or not, but Reigen wants to patch things up with them for a reason and I'm hopeful that they can all reach a better understanding with each other.

One thing I also wish the anime showed was that Reigen's mom talks to him on the phone after Separation Arc! We see that in this omake:

Reigen definitely didn't tell his parents his phone number or his home address if his mom had to resort to emailing his business address just to talk to him. But I like to think that after Separation Arc he started letting his mom into his life a bit more...

God this was such a long rant, I'm sorry. One final thing before I get to your questions is that if we really need abusive parents to hate, Teru's non-present parents are ripe for the picking... Just saying.

(ask game)

I'm assuming you mean Reigen for all of these btw

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Gosh I initially thought he was just a silly goofy character who could be annoying and pathetic at times, but I enjoyed his presence on-screen. Then he got deeper in the Season 1 finale and showed just how much he truly cared about Mob... That part definitely got me shook. He only got better and better from there and now he's one of my favorite characters in the story.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Jesus christ uh I definitely don't think he'd be a bad roommate and we'd probably get along just fine but I also think I'd annoy the shit out of him. I'm not the best at keeping my space neat and clean. Also the thought of meeting Reigen in person is actually terrifying... Reigen should never exist outside the world of fiction because his pure chaos would be too much for reality.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Hmm I answered what I don't like last time, but I do like fics that explore his relationship with Mob or Serizawa. I also like seeing him confront more of his personal issues and grow as a person even if he gets a little hurt in the process-

[m1edemafc]

blog navigation!

heya, thanks for stopping by my blog! i mostly made this because interacting on ao3 is a bit of a pain sometimes, and it's easier for me to take prompts/requests/questions on tumblr.

i'm so happy to take requests, so feel free to drop any prompts or requests! i'm not inherently opposed to writing anything, but forewarning, i hate every piece of smut i've ever written so it's highly unlikely that i'll publish anything with substantial smut. not ruling it out completely but it's just ~very~ unlikely.

these are my current works, you can find them all on ao3! unless it's a headcannon, my work will only ever be published on ao3. sorry to all the tumblr fic readers out there, but i promise ao3 is fairly easy to navigate even as a guest.

masterlist:

lucy bronze/ona battle

all these people think love's for show, but i'd die for you in secret

tags: established relationship, fluff, domestic fluff, karaoke

status: work in progress, eight chapters

jana fernández/jill roord

my heart has been split open (you see everything i'm hoping)

tags: hurt/comfort, acl injury, angst, fluff

status: coming soon, one shot

keira walsh/laura feiersinger

i just want to know you better (know you better now)

tags: 5+1 things, situationship, getting together, kind of a slow burn?

status: complete, one shot

mapi león/ingrid engen

let our hearts be the only sound

tags: established relationship, proposal, fluff

status: complete, one shot

alexia putellas/jenni hermoso

you'll find that you were never not mine

series: inked on my soul

tags: alternate universe, tattoo artist jenni, footballer alexia, getting back together, jealousy 

status: complete, one shot

fc barcelona femení

bilbao is one hell of a drug

tags: uefa womens champions league, winning

status: complete, seven chapters

alessia russo/leah williamson

hearts collide, souls intertwine

series: country girls universe

tags: kid fic, forced roommates, getting together, potential slow burn (i haven't decided)

status: coming soon

the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

series: country girls universe

tags: kidfic, fluff, literally just fluff, new kit pics!!

status: one shot, complete

caroline graham hansen/marta torrejón

forever is in your eyes

tags: kid fic, post retirement, marriage, domestic fluff

status: coming soon, one shot collection

a little about me:

i'm a 23 year old gemini vegetarian from australia! i've been an arsenal fan (both women and men) for quite a while now, but recently become a barca femeni fan. obviously being australian, i am a huge huge fan of the matildas (less so a socceroos fan tho, but up the boys).

although i love football, i am the least coordinated person and have not ever played football outside of pe lessons in school. i grew up as a competitive swimmer before i quit when i was 16 and i also played a few seasons of club netball during high school (i was not that great). i mostly am a pilates girlie now, but also have decided to start running this year and am running my first 14k race in august (please cross your fingers that i make it out alive).

although i've been an avid fic reader for over a decade across quite a few fandoms, i only started writing fic this year. that mostly happened because i've been on somewhat of a sabbatical for the past few months, and am not currently in uni or working so i've finally had time to actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) on all the words that have been floating around in my brain.

in saying that, my self declared sabbatical will be ending in july so i cannot promise any consistency around posting. i don't mind some gentle pushing but please keep in mind i usually take a full time course load at uni, work two jobs and also have a social life, friends, family and also a whole host of health problems so sometimes my life gets a bit too out of hand and it kinda is out of my control.

i really am trying to enter my era of a healthy work-life balance though, so i'm hoping we won't reach the same level of chaos that my life previously has been.

anyways, if you have made it to this point, you are a real trooper and thanks for reading through my rambles!

:))

[fourtyfourcatss]

-> for @pinejayy !

[a/n] - i enjoyed doing this matchup exchange! i wrote a lot for kny compared to the others since i did it first, but just know every single one of your matches love your traits so i didnt have to restate them again and again! hope you enjoy

KNY ✦ mitsuri kanroji

➜ mitsuri thinks you’re so cool! you look so gallant in your heels and your countenance… you often speak your truth and put people in their place! she cant stop giggling over their gawking expressions and being endeared over your confidence. it takes a while for her to understand and accept your dark humor, since she isnt used to it, but one day she will accidentally slip up and make a somewhat dark joke too and obanai is onto you 💀

➜ but i think the two of you would soften each other much, defenses, and traits. sometimes dark humor can lead go humor that may be a bit too dark, and thinking about it could make you spiral a tad if you arent in a good place. mitsuri’s attitude beats that away! she’ll slice up anything bad that comes your way.

➜ i think she’s developed from fixation on your chokers after a while, wanting to wear some herself to keep some part of you with her. do you wear perfume or cologne? spray some on the choker before letting her wear it for a while; she’ll drift into a happy daze! though unfortunately, she cant really fight like that oh no 🙁‼️ after shes learnt her lesson (several times), its reserved for days off with you! expect tons of short neck pecks and cheek kisses.

➜ do you like sakura watching? i assume you’re not a big outdoorsy type person since you have not mentioned it, so the two of you definitely snuggle inside a kotatsu during the winter, the two of you chatting and laughing under the warm blanket. its midafternoon but its ok, and time feels lost. in march, sakura watching is a must though! the two of you sit on the patio, sharing snacks while night falls, watching the blossoms fall down beautifully.

➜ originally, mitsuri planned to go into the corps to find a husband… but she found a wife instead! ah, but her parents are delighted! someone who could accept their daughter for who they truly are unlike those earlier suitors must be someone of great character, and right they are! her siblings are curious little kids, and sometimes they intrude a bit while she and her parents try to pull them away as quick as they can! but theyre good kids, the ones that usher you in and sneak you snacks and asks you for the reasons of why you got each of your tattoos. you grow on them, and they grow onto you <3

➜ she has no tattoos herself, but she understands the feeling of being judged from your appearance, being downtrodden because of it. the two of you are on the other sides of the spectrum, yet its depressing how the the people’s treatment of the two of you as women converge and diverge. she looks too “childish” with her hair and kimonos and yukatas, and you look too “brazenly” in your goth clothes. but everyone is more than their fashion tastes and their outward appearances; mitsuri thinks the tattoos on your body are so beautiful, so artfully done — did it hard? does it still hurt? she has no idea how tattoos and healings work, does it still ache like a wound? no, right? there’s a part of her that’s subconsciously worrying about you, not obsessively or suffocatingly. but she wants to fuss over you! she wants to indulge you in all the ways she can, like how her parents indulged her when she was younger, lovingly, heart above the mind. she traces each line carefully and watches as they line down your body, transfixed.

➜ absolutely cannot take a horror movie. she will definitely watch them with you, but even so, she’ll be clutching at you and closing her eyes and trying not to be so easily jolted. prepare to accompany her to the bathroom at night and waiting for her lol.

➜ cute plushies? sweets? strawberry related? do you think about her hair while thinking about strawberries? just thinking about that makes her gleeful. she loves loves sweets, and she also loves plushies. i can imagine the two of you strolling hand in hand at festivals, masks clipped to the sides of your heads, mitsuri dominating the competition to get you your trophies!!

➜ your relationship is like sitting near a riverbed, the sky dark, the crickets chirping, fireworks lightening the sky.

..runner up; shinobu kocho, uzui tengen <- i think he would make more for platonic friends instead

JJK ✦ geto suguru

➜ gojo teases him a lot about you. “gonna trip into your girlfriend’s arms again?”

➜ geto throws up a finger, but doesnt say much else, his only other acknowledgment being reddened ears poking from strands of dark hair.

➜ geto is an absolute gentleman — as much as he can while being encaptured by your energy. he’s very frank about his feelings, yet retreats whenever you approach back, tapping his cheek or giving him some lip. eventually, he will stop going back into his shell like a turtle! for a special grade sorcerer, he has what you’d call the heart of a maiden around you lol!

➜ there will definitely be times where he leaves a curse or two to protect you. he cannot take any chances when it comes to his enemies, especially when the person who could be harmed is you.

➜ playing video games with you and reading your works is a must! he’s probably seen scarier for horror movies with grotesque beings, so put on something thats more silent to scare him lol. acts of services and bantering is a large part of your relationship with one another. he kisses your hands and strokes your arms. geto deeply appreciates your values and how you see the world, and you see like the type to stick to something when you truly believe it in. like a beacon of light. that does good for him. if geto is gojo’s moral compass, then you are getos.

➜ he unconsciously seeks you out; whether it be you walking to his room, geto freeing his hands so he can wrap an arm around the curve of your back. burying his face into your hair and nestling into your neck. like sitting on a ferris wheel at sunset, the voices of the crowd tumbling snuffled beneath the two of you.

➜ with your presence, he may have given his choice some more consideration, and understood the ridiculousness of killing every non-jujutsu sorcerer in the world. it was his dream, but it was a given one. but he thinks of your painted nails and the ways your eyes glisten, and hesitates.

BNHA ✦ keigo takami

➜ the attraction point is that the two of you are so similar in different ways, it catches his attention immensely. hawks likes to take a jab at people, but it is in the unorthodox sense, while you as you put it, “quite rude but a playful kinda rude.” in short, the intentions between the two of you are quite dissimilar, making for rather unorthodox interactions. but he’s met many people who’s also similar in you for many of these traits. so, what draws him to you?

➜ its simple. everything.

➜ everything mashes together to create this interlocking puzzle which even one piece cannot be missing for it to work. there are things big and small that makes his eyes stray to your figure; the way your back is curved, the air about you. he gives you that Leon Kennedy StareTM, like the way he looks at Ada.

➜ as from this post, he’s casual, reliable, and falsely open. i think you have the temperament to truly open him up without leaving him resentful of you. he says exactly whats on his mind, in turn, beckoning for you to share your opinion too. he wants to know how you feel about certain things, perhaps dissolving the conversation into something entirely political or philosophical. he does this thing where he gets into your head sometimes, and it’s infuriating. but, as he starts to become more comfortable with vulnerability around you, he starts to soften up. sheepishly rubbing his neck if he accidentally goes too far and catches himself doing it

➜ definitely walks with you across the sky howl’s moving castle style. well, as close as it gets. he’s going to randomly send the two of you up in the sky and go for a ride. preferably in his hometown, where the eyes do not follow as much. he’s absolutely masterful at every time of affection, physical, verbal, and especially gift giving. he’s a genius, the youngest of the top heroes at only 22. won’t you brag about him to your friends? he’ll be very flattered

➜ Next Level Bantering. He puts everyone to shame with his comebacks and returns. dark humor? not a problem with him. ah, but if hes too worked up, he might take it too far. he’s a very contrary character, appreciative of things both traditional and “unorthodox” like heavy metals like the older generation (some of those uptight old fucks need to mind their own business). the more they seem to dislike you, the more he ends up seeing and appreciating you for who you are.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 10.3

What? You demand more pain? Don't worry. Nightow is giving it out in spades in this volume!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

05: Final Battle

It truly is Wolfwood's final battle.

Oh, I didn’t get it without @/alena-reblobs that Wolfwood avoids the missiles of Razlo and turns around to use the following explosion to jump the distance towards Razlo. Wolfwood is such a brilliant fighter and his fights are the best. His weapon is so stupid looking, but the way Nightow makes use of it is so fun to watch. Though… sometimes it is really difficult to follow the action.

I mean… is Razlo really the best wielder? Having three always read as overcompensation for me. With three he can easily overpower his opponents. But look how Wolfwood wipes the floor with Razlo since he knows how to use his weapon.

And Vash is watching. He respects Wolfwood’s wishes. But I also assume that he desperately tries to burn every second of Wolfwood’s last minutes into his memories, since this is the last time he will see his friend. And in the end, this fight IS what Wolfwood is, protection, the good in humanity. Their destructive power is used to save someone.

I just love how Wolfwood reads and taunts Razlo. I just wish it was in a more brotherly, peaceful situation. This fight is just so good. The way Wolfwood overpowers Razlo so easily made me believe in the first read through that this was just a scare, that Wolfwood is not dying, that this is not his last action.

I didn’t see it the first time. Wolfwood’s Punisher has a white cover and Razlo’s are black. Something about Wolfwood fighting to protect others, while Razlo’s main motive is to get recognition from the husk of a human called Chapel. Selfless vs Selfish.

Wolfwood is the master of the Punisher. He knows his weapons flaws and strength and can adapt it to any fight. Not only Razlo’s body takes a hit, his confidence, too. Not only that, if you look back how he was willing to kill Chapel, but not for any revenge reasons, but for the future safety of the kids... Wolfwood gave out punishments, but neutral ones, not pain for his own selfish gain.

And then Wolfwood adds the worst insult. He throws the Punisher aside. This stopped being a fight long ago. This is a trashing. And more so, it is much more intimate. This is not a fight between two fighters, this is an older brother who gives Razlo a reality check. Wolfwood teaches Razlo not only fighting lessons, but life lessons.

06: Return

Wonder who will return?

Razlo never had someone be his equal. 

I learned from a colleague who became a kindergarten teacher, that the trickiest part about that was that when a kid was stronger than the rest they often hurt other children without really understanding it. So he was in the position of having to teach the kid the other position without overstepping any line. 

Razlo reminds me of that. He never had someone being equal to him, he never had to go all out. Chapel would have wiped the floor with tiny Raz and by the time he got that build he already was totally under his thumb. And we saw that little Raz was able to kill more than a few people without breaking a sweat. Wolfwood is the first person who can take him on and who can teach him that: Damn, being hit hurts. I don’t want to hurt. (And the consecutively end of that line: I shouldn’t hurt other people)

I just cannot see Razlo as someone evil, he is a survival mechanism of a lonely kid that got out of hand.

Positioning Vash there… Yeah… While Razlo confronts his mortality for the first time, Vash is crumbling under the loss. He will never be the same again. Vash cannot even imagine being without this pain. He just found a hope for himself, he just started to imagine a future and it was ripped from him, again. How many times is he expected to get through such a pain?

Fucking red herring of the third vial. It gave me hope on my first.

Razlo does not understand empathy or care. He has never been cared for. He is unable to get that Wolfwood cares for Livio and consequently for him. This is a fight for death for him. ‘Wolfwood is just playing with him’. But Wolfwood tries to reach Livio.

I need to look like four times to finally understand how this bretzel-Vash is twisted and how he connects his hits with them. Wolfwood wanted to fight Razlo one on one and Vash will make that happen. He has his buddy’s back, especially since it is the last time.

Another misdirection. I like how Nightow uses them.

Livio appears again! Finally! Took only nearly ripping the head of his body off.

And another misdirection.

Who is the Judas now?! Wolfwood, who betrayed his abusive mentor to protect others or that mentor, who was ready to stab his other, devoted pupil in the back to kill Wolfwood?

Also, Chapel returned for a little comeback before he finally croaked.

Who would have thought…

Sarcasm aside. Again, Razlo is a little kid. He trusted Chapel blindly after what he had done “for him”. But that devotion was one sided and used for Chapel’s benefit. The safety of being useful was a false one. L/R was always alone in the EoM. His explosion of anger is a bit like a temper tantrum. He cannot deal with these emotions, he cannot deal with the betrayal. And he lets it out on his surroundings and innocents. In his pain he is even unable to realise that Wolfwood just saved his life. Everyone is against him right now, since even the one person he trusted turned out that way.

And finally, the real return of the chapter! Livio comes back. Wolfwood’s sacrifice has reached him. It may be a mixture out of the beating and, especially, shoving L/R aside when Chapel attacked.

Wolfwood becomes Livio’s role model as Livio finally emerges out of his cocoon that protected him against rejection.

How much blood does his body have? But it feels nice that Wolfwood accomplished what he set out to do and even lived long enough to see Livio return.

[confusedgoldenflower]

First to add to fiercynn’s great addition, I want to highlight that those same things happen especially also with female characters who “are in the way” of the gay ships and turn them into ridiculous, shallow non-characters. And a lot of afabs are in fandom, reading these stories, seeing the—probably—internalized mysogony on full display just so the shit author can have an easy time instead of actually writing.

There’s so much I want to say but my brain just cannot.

‘Urgh me writing horrible noncon and pushing it out for everyone to see and be normalized is perfectly okay and not at all impacts my anti rape morals!!!! What happens in my brain and what’s reality is dIfFeReNt!’

No, that doesn’t sound right.

First of all, intrusive thoughts and/or maladaptive daydreaming don’t make someone bad. Obviously. Of course. But hey, the internet will say you’re being ace erasure-ist when that’s literally what your calling out🙄. But for someone to look at themselves and say hey, I think I’m just gonna choose to allow my brain to go on these dark, disturbing tangents instead of stopping and saying “hey, wtf, that’s not right, I think I’ll change the direction or stamp this thought/daydream out entirely.”

I had that issue, but I’ve managed to condition myself to STOP going on disgusting mental tangents about the worst things happening to characters/people and interupt my intrusive thoughts! Guess what, I feel a hell of a lot better with less happenings of these thoughts/daydreams. I really never wrote down that shit to begin with and I’m really glad I didn’t add to this cesspool of just this nastiness for the sake of nastiness.

Which brings me to torture porn (insert whatever “character torturing” you like, I’d rather not make a list) for the sake of it and indulgently so.

I get coping art. I get exploratory art. But that shit doesn’t have to be published where everyone can see it and where it helps to normalise absolutely horrible things. Stories in which it’s used genuinely and not as some qUirKy ThIs Is HoW i Am DiFfErEnT aNd My LiFe SuCkS backstory/tool. And especially it’s not coping art if shit like noncon, pedophilia, necrophilia, incest, etc is treated POSITIVELY by the characters/story.

I don’t care how old or mature YOU are, that doesn’t mean the rest of everyone consuming/seeing this are too, and I don’t know how you’ve missed it but the media influences us. All of us. Especially young people who have no choice but to believe that the things on TV—because it’s TV and we assume a demonstration of the world—are normal or acceptable. Especially ND kids look to media for how to act. (Kids shows have morals and language arts classes push you to take lessons from stories but suddenly you’re a horrible person for taking anything away from “adult” media.)

If you can’t understand that, I guess you’re not as mature as you like to think.

If you read and/or write some dark stuff sometimes out of curiosity or goose-necking a train wreck, that’s understandable. However, if you ENJOY that shit and do it A LOT, that’s a red flag. 🚩🚩🚩 ESPECIALLY if you get off to it because a climax is one of the most powerful positive reinforcements.

Besides, there’s rumor that your brain cannot actually understand that that fake guy, who you feel enough for to twist your own guts when he gets hurt, isn’t actually real. I haven’t been able to get deep into this but besides that, how should anyone expect someone to treat the people they encounter in real life, including online because that’s also fucking real, with basic human decency if they’re torturing their favorite character with tentacles in their head most of the time. That sounds like normalizing that sort of shit to yourself if you’re just letting those thoughts go or actively choosing that thought train rather than pushing back. Even if you don’t have the energy to craft some elaborate plot or whatever, how can you not think “I don’t like this so I’m gonna stop there and distract myself with something else.”

If that asinine thought process is true, then why would we call out grooming media like Pretty Little Liars and Lolita because it teaches kids that it’s okay to be hurt like that, and predators that what they’re doing is fine. If that was true, why would there be push back on the rampant sa in media which just lets disgusting pieces of shit know they’re fine and everyone does, it and that victims should shut the fuck up because that’s just how it is. If you force objectively asexual characters into sexual situations, how the fuck can anyone trust you’d respect a *real* ace.

If you write or consume dark shit and ENJOY it and think there’s nothing wrong with what op said, block me. Do us both a favor. Besides, why the fuck do you want to do horrible things to people so damn bad. What’s wrong with you.

DNI esp ppl who think noncon is sexy.

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[exit-babylon]

50 Years Without Christmas

It was the 50th consecutive year that I’ve been without it. Yes, a golden anniversary of not having something!

I remember it well. When you are 11 years old, it’s no small thing if your parents make the life-changing decision that it is intellectually dishonest, scripturally untruthful and spiritually hypocritical to celebrate Christmas. 

Researching the facts was the easy part—history has never hidden the pagan origins of Christmas and how its customs became integrated into the church by powerful people who called themselves Christians but whose practices bore little resemblance to those of the Christians of the Bible. 

The “Christ vs. Christianity” column on pages 28-30 gives a great summary of what the Bible clearly does say, and does not say, about God’s view of such behavior. The bottom line is that the pro-Christmas argument can never revolve around the historical or biblical facts; its only defense is human rationalizing and justifying.

It wasn’t hard to see the truth

Even as a child, I didn’t find it hard to clearly see the truth of the matter. Maybe I was more primed to accept it, since the memories of having been lied to about Santa Claus were still fairly fresh in my young head.

At any rate, it really wasn’t all that hard for me to stop celebrating Christmas. That we weren’t going to keep Christmas anymore was much more difficult for others than it was for us! I saw my grandparents all the time throughout the year, but one would have thought their world was coming apart when we announced that we were quietly bowing out of the Christmas scene! 

Despite some of those challenges, from year one I never missed Christmas.

Those closest to us, though, adjusted after a while when they realized that we hadn’t turned into religious nuts. They found that we still loved Jesus, that we still loved them, and that, because we loved them, we would continue to give and receive gifts at other times of the year … just not at Christmas.

Others were less charitable

Other folks were sometimes less charitable. Through abandoning Christmas, I learned one of my early lessons about “freedom of religion”—it’s a nice notion, but in reality it usually comes with a price, such as having to deal with the hurts of other people ridiculing and badgering you.

It’s funny how the least tolerant were the most religious. Maybe they felt our decision tacitly challenged them to defend their own beliefs. Some people, when they cannot defend the biblically indefensible, resort to personal attacks. But through it all you learn other lessons you will need later in life, such as standing by the courage of your convictions.

Never missed it

Despite some of those challenges, from year one I never missed Christmas. Maybe it was the way my parents engaged me in the discovery process. I don’t remember the exact conversations we had about it, but I do remember coming to comprehend the core issue that I mentioned earlier: Mixing Christianity and Christmas just isn’t being honest with the truth. 

And isn’t honesty, sincerity and truth supposed to be a cornerstone of our relationship with God? Isn’t that one of the most important gifts we can give to our children?

Clyde Kilough Editor

[needsmorewlw]

*~Non-fetishistic mlm!Dylan headcanons~*🥰😇

I am being so pass agg rn

He worked out he was gay when he was like 10 after watching Teen Wolf.

He abides by the "Coming out to people by mentioning it casually in conversation" rule of homosexuality, to see who he catches off guard.

He still has girls who ask him out because he's tall and funny and listens to them when they speak.

He's surprised how often he has to tell these girls that he's gay because to him it's very obvious but apparently not to them.

He's had one real boyfriend but he was kinda toxic and just liked Dylan because he's tall.

Dylan has some hang ups over his one real relationship not ending well and has some lingering nervousness about starting a new one.

Doesn't stop him from being forward when he likes someone though.

Dylan flirts as a joke and then when it works he has no idea how to continue.

The personification of the "I dunno, I didn't think I'd get this far." meme.

He doesn't know where the joke flirting ends and the real flirting begins either.

If Dylan really cares about someone, he will go above and beyond for them (friends, dates and family). More than once it hasn't been reciprocated and his kindness got taken advantage of. Hence his fear of rejection.

His relationship with his parents is...fine. I can't help but feel like he has a parent who tells their friends that "he just hasn't met the right girl yet."

Designated class clown. "Please like me or I WILL take it personally."

No emotion has gone unrepressed for nineteen years.

Fake-it-till-you-make-it is his totally healthy coping mechanism. Pretend to be happy until the depression goes away. No he doesn't need therapy xx (sarcasm)

He rarely cries and only in private. Absolutely never in front of anyone unless you happen to catch him on a bad day.

He doesn't have anxiety and he's never had a panic attack. He sometimes disassociates after a failed social interaction where he accidentally offended/hurt someone.

He's not brave but he is self sacrificial. If someones gotta get hurt, it's gonna be him.

Dylan's the kind of friend who will hang out with you every single day for a week and then you won't see him or speak to him for three months.

Probably because he hyperfixated on a new hobby so hard he forgot he was a living human who needed to socialise.

He took piano lessons when he was a kid and taught himself guitar when we got older so he could play Wonderwall.

He builds PC's for his friends.

He cannot cook even if he had a gun to his head. Eggs on rice is about all he can manage.

He loves all things horror but never actually believed in it. Now he believes in it more and loves it a little less.

He doesn't go around proclaiming that he's gay but he's also not ashamed of it. If he's comfortable around you he'll make some jokes or euphemisms.

Simultaneously ^ He's real annoying when he has a boyfriend. He will talk about him all the time and you will get sick of it.

His lanky arms were made for cuddling. He is a snuggle machine. Pop your head on his chest babygirl, tell him all about your shitty ex.

Despite everything, he has a genuine optimistic view on life. He has a secret little five year plan that involves him moving out, graduating college and getting hired at NASA as an astrophysicist.

He spends more time curating his Spotify playlists than he does breathing.

He definitely gave his cat a full first, middle and last name.

[titan-god-helios]

HI I CAN HELP AM NPD HAVER HELLOHELLO

SO npd is. Very different to just low self esteem BUT they play into each other a lot for obvious reasons

npd has various subtypes, the most common or the largest being overt (very noticeable symptoms) and covert (very minimal outwardly) @shitborderlinesdo, @narcissism-positivity and @narcissisticpdcultureis are very good blogs to have a look through for resources, narcissism positivity ESPECIALLY - they have links to a lot of great posts including the dsm-5 diagnostic category and so on

i have covert npd, and i am still very much grandiose in my thinking and perception of myself. this doesn't stop my self esteem varying WILDLY day to day. for example, i cannot handle someone else doing or being better at something i recognise that i am good at or i perceive myself to be good at (in reality i might be just decent but i'd literally rather hurt myself badly than admit it) - i played guitar for 7 or 8 years before i stopped taking lessons, and i felt i was pretty good and it was consistently a thing that i thought about as something that made me special and that put me above others. however, i was scared of being found to be mediocre at it, or being judged on my ability for it, so i refused to play for anyone but myself, unless it was a piece i had meticulously practiced. i got asked once to sight-read by my ep (equal person, aka someone you view as equal to yourself) and i couldn't and. i cried as soon as i was out of his view because i felt worthless and useless and borderline suicidal because i saw that as being "proved a fraud", and i thought that he hated me and was internally laughing at me for not being able to do it despite my years of experience

another example that happened quite recently - my new special interest is insects, specifically bombyx mori moths aka the domestic silk moth. i went on tumblr and searched bombyx mori in order to engage in my spin, then learned that something i had supposedly known about the moths was in fact wrong. i went from feeling like i normally did to feeling like the scum of the earth, and feeling an anger so ridiculously intense it scared me a little. cause internally all i could think was "how dare you know more than me FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU"

other examples include me arguing with teachers that my answer to a question was right because i deemed my intellect better than the teacher's, selecting which teachers to respect and which to disregard solely due to either their own knowledge on their own subject, how well they teach, or how much (positive) attention they gave me in class. ALSO, i love matjs tutoring solely for the reason that i get loads of compliments on my intellect and how fast i pick things up from my tutor, i like going to the hairdresser because they always compliment the quality of my hair, my favourite part of myself are my eyes because they're the most frequently complimented part of me, i feel literally crushed for days, weeks even if my grades aren't up to my own impossible standards, and i have to run from my friends and hide in a bathroom stall whilst seething with anger if they poke fun at me on a day where im really struggling to take criticism. there's a lot more than that, but for me i have to be loved and adored by all, despite hating being the centre of attention most of the time. whilst npd is often given the rep of strictly grandiose thinking in the obvious way as shown above, it can also present as being convinced that everyone is thinking about you and judging you every single second of the day, that you are the centre of their attention even in a negative light, and so on. it doesnt have to be "im a god fuck you" even though sometimes it is

also !! another common thing with npd is not recognising other people as people with lives and their own full, rich worlds etc. i struggle a lot with this, and it has ended up with me inadvertently hurting or ignoring others because i just didn't clock that "oh yeah. they're people too, mot just npc types for my own enrichment." as a result, only my ep and a select few seem "human" and all my energy goes towards them.

with covert npd, a lot of energy may go towards masking your narcissistic traits in order to maintain a good reputation and let all that sweet sweet attention pour in as a result. it can mean overwhelming and overworking youself for the same reasons (i know i do both of these !!). a lot of people with npd are the loveliest people you'll meet, because their motivations are attention for themselves (and thats still good and okay !!)

this is only a fraction of what npd is. it is pervasive and affects my whole life, the way i interact, and the people around me. definitely have a look through the blogs above, and good luck robin !!! i'm here as always if you have more questions, and keep in mind that i'm just a guy who has npd, not an expert on it (as much as if pains me to say that lmao)

hey google how to tell if you have npd or just low self esteem

[vilapollo]

Scaramouche x reader

reader is Diluc and Kaeya's younger sibling, forbidden love, drabble, fluff

Most would think that it must be fun being the two most wanted bachelors' youngest sibling. After all, it would be easy having friends and no one would want to be on your bad side since you've got two strong older siblings to back you up. That is mostly true, but their protectiveness could sometimes rival your stubbornness. You've always wanted to travel all around Teyvat but the two men were stopping you from doing so. It was good that you were persistent. Otherwise, you would have never met the so called Balladeer.

You don't know when or how you two fell for each other. You rejected several suitors that you've had back in Mondstadt, not really wanting to get into a relationship. It's not that you were afraid to get hurt. Rather, you were afraid to hurt. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to fall in love with anyone. But then Scaramouche proved that you were capable of loving someone after all.

You admit that loving Scaramouche was hard, but you never gave up. Sarcasm was the love language in your relationship and communication was a bit hard. After all, Scaramouche has built a very thick wall around himself which you are still trying to break down. You two fought but it never lasted too long since Scaramouche has his own cute way of sulking whenever you're angry at him. Yes, you're the one who always end up apologizing despite the fact that he was always the reason why those fights start in the first place. As for Scaramouche, instead of saying anything, he just treats you with lavish gifts which you just accept in order to let him know that you forgive him. Sometimes, he also lets his guard down after every fight and lets you do all those things normal couples do that he finds absolutely disgusting which was adorable.

During all those months, you forgot that he was part of the Fatui. And you were only hit with reality when Diluc and Kaeya each sent you a letter to celebrate the Windblume festival.

Going back to Mondstadt, you couldn't help but feel guilty. The Fatui was an enemy. They were the reason why there's this huge crack in the only two other people left in your family. But surely, Diluc would forgive you for something you cannot control, right?

Celebrating the festival made it even worse. Seeing all these couples giving each other flowers and other gifts made you miss your lover and wished that you could also do the same to him. You wished you could also freely love him without thinking of hurting other people or feel guilty for ever loving someone like him.

"Something on your mind?" You were interrupted from your thought when Kaeya approached you with an arm around your neck.

You sighed. Despite having one eye, he really does know how to read you every time. You knew lying was useless since he could always see through your lies so you decided to tell him parts of the truth. "Well, I just hope I could get to spend the festival with this friend I met during one of my travels."

"A friend, huh?" Kaeya teased.

You blushed and avoided his gaze. "Yes, a friend! Just that and nothing more."

"Well, if you say so. You know Venti is giving away free lessons on how to create a love poem. Perhaps you could try and approach him for some help with this friend of yours."

"I-I told you he's just a friend! Why would I need to create a love poem for him?"

"Oh so it's a boy friend, huh?"

You grumbled and crossed your arms, glaring at his eye. The man just laughed and told you he was just teasing. Thankfully, he didn't push through it, but you kind of felt guilty for lying to him. Still, they cannot know about your relationship with a Fatui harbinger. Not now, at least.

You continued to celebrate the festival all throughout the day and you were completely exhausted by the time the moon rose. Diluc invited you to settle in for the night in his mansion and you happily obliged. It seemed that Diluc was busy during the festival which was the reason why you didn't see him all day. You two exchanged presents and you couldn't help but feel at home once again. As if all your troubles from earlier had disappeared. Soon, you went to your room and decided to go to bed. That was until a certain someone decided to climb into the window.

Scaramouche was there standing in the middle of the room with a dark expression on his face. However, the first thing you noticed was the dandelion flower in his hand and a small box.

"Just came by to leave my friend a gift," was the first thing he said. And it took you a while to register his words. He just shoved the items in his hands into your arms and turned away.

"W-Wait!" You grabbed his hand. "You're here?"

"No, I'm obviously a ghost," he replied.

You couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. "You're here," you repeated before throwing your arms around him. You felt him tense under your touch, but then slowly relax. Still, he didn't move an inch until you pulled away and looked down at the flower he gave you. "Thank you for this. I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, well, I just came here to do what I was supposed to. I'm leaving now."

"You're angry, aren't you? Don't tell me you missed me already?"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I would never go through such lengths to see a friend. Don't think so highly of yourself."

You raised your eyebrow. "Where is this coming from?" you asked before realizing how you told Kaeya about him. However, that just made you even more confused. "How did you...?"

"Don't you have something for me?"

You blinked before realizing what he meant. "Oh." At times like this, you couldn't help but thank Kaeya because you did eventually took up some love poem lessons from Venti and created one for his class. "Actually, I kind of do, but..."

"Well, give it to me then."

You were hesitant since you don't think the poem was any good for Scaramouche at all. It's not that you made it for the sake of creating a poem for Venti's class. You actually did that poem while thinking of Scaramouche. And knowing he wasn't even going to read it, you managed to conjure lines that would probably make Scaramouche vomit.

Still, you ended up giving him the poem.

"I'm keeping this," was all he said before heading towards the window.

"You're going to burn it, aren't you?"

"Who says I will?"

"You're keeping it?"

He frowned and stared at you as if your were the stupidest person in all of Teyvat. You grinned at his confirmation.

"I'm leaving now before your older brother finds us," he said.

"Oh, okay." You bit your lower lip, reminded of that again.

There was a silence for a while before you heard Scaramouche's footsteps once again. Before you knew it, he has you wrapped in his arms with his lips on yours. You sighed as you melted into his touch and kissed him back. As he pulled away, he gently stroked your face and gazed down at you without the usual hardness in his stare.

You smiled up at him. "I love you," you murmured.

"I know," he replied. "That's why I'm never letting you go. No matter what happens, you're mine."

And with that, he gave you one last kiss before leaving you with a flower and a bracelet with his words of love engraved onto it.

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

[wri0thesley]

Could I request Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, and Mahito with their s/o getting injured while fighting alongside them? Who rushes to their side to tend to them and who goes after the attacker?? I'm always a sucker for this hc prompt!!

♡ —-> below the cut: gojo, nanami, geto, toji, mahito <—-  ♡

♡ Gojo is used to carrying a fight on his own. This is not the first time his partner has been injured whilst they are on a mission - but it’s the first time it’s been you, his partner in more than one way, the person he thinks he might want to spend the rest of his life with--. So he ends up amping up the fighting - if this isn’t a special grade curse, it’s suddenly being treated like one, because if there’s one thing Gojo isn’t in control of it’s how much he loves you. He has lost too many people in his life, and this curse has just threatened another one of them, and this isn’t something that he’ll take lightly. If Gojo makes far more of a mess out of the scene of the battle then he needed to in order to take it out and teach the curse a lesson, so be it. He’s quick dispatching it so that he can feel less guilty about rushing over to your side - he’s had the weight of the world on his shoulders for too long to shirk his duty, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about you the whole time. He’s bent over you in an instant, pulling you into him, asking if you’re alright and trying not to let the worry show. If you can talk and still seem at least to be within yourself, he cracks jokes as best he can about how you’ve gotten him worried, and never to do that again even as he tries to get you to Shoko as soon as possible. You’ll find that Gojo’s influence means you’re not asked to go on a mission for a couple of days, despite how short-staffed everyone is - but when you ask him about it, he shrugs it off with a steely look in his eye. “Guess it’s just not that busy, cupcake - more time for you to stay home and eat sweets and recover!”

- ♡ -

♡ Nanami thinks that being a jujutsu sorcerer fucking sucks, sometimes. And he has not felt how much it sucks so concretely as when you’re knocked onto your back and he sees an arc of blood, hears a sickening crack. He knows he has a duty, and he’s never been the kind of man who leaves it behind - but, like Gojo, he can’t help but let his frustration and anger show through in the way he wields his weapon and the way his teeth grit. Nanami is a formidable enemy at any time, but he’s practically possessed himself now - if he loses you, he will never forgive himself. He has given up too many parts of himself for this job (for both of the jobs he’s inhabited), and you are a bright spot of sunshine in his life. He can’t lose you. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. So he hacks and he slashes and the moment the curse is gone he’s lifting you up, checking your pulse, trying to keep himself under control even though his heart is beating erratically and memories of other people he hasn’t saved are flooding his head. He can’t stop thinking about how shit this job is, how bullshit it is that you’re expected to die in the line of duty - and then, your eyes open and you cough, and Nanami feels a heavy weight lift from him as he stares into your eyes. Your wounds are treated by Nanami if he can, or by Shoko if they’re too bad - and when the two of you get home, Nanami begins to flip through property books and magazines as he tells you with a tight jaw that the two of you should really think about retiring in the next few years. 

- ♡ -

♡ Geto is incredibly loyal to those he cares about - the little family of curse users that he’s built up all around them. And you are no different - as his beloved, you occupy a different plane. Something more important than even he realises. He loves having you beside him, wrapping his arms around you, watching you with Mimiko and Nanako - after becoming a curse user, he didn’t think he’d ever find such pure happiness as he’s found in you. So it’s no surprise that when he watches you get injured in the battle, he’s driven a little bit wild with his rage. 

He comes to you first, because he is lucky enough to have a technique that means he can release curses to fight for him as he checks you over. The sight of you bent and broken, your beautiful face perhaps bruised, your eyes closed, makes him feel like he could tear the world apart for you. If your eyes do open, and he’s able to ascertain that you’ll be safe, his priority is to get you out of harm’s way.

If they don’t, and you’re hurt more than he can help with at that moment . . . whoever did it is going to regret having ever been born. 

- ♡ -

♡ Toji is immediately bothered when he hears your soft cry of pain. He will not go to you immediately, because he is a professional and the job has to come first - but you can rest assured that he’s running through every possibility in his head, wondering when he can get to your side the quickest. This is a man whose battle skills are superior to almost anyone’s in the world - it’s not that difficult for him to re-arrange his steps, to goad his victim closer to your body so he can work out what the damage is. If you’re merely unconscious, his victim might get off luckily, and Toji may do his work with one clean, quick slice.

If you’re bleeding, though, or something looks broken, or you’re crying - Toji is not so merciful. If you ever get hurt, he wants it to be because you asked him for it and he wants you to enjoy the process - that this enemy would dare lay a finger on you frustrates him to no end. Toji is rather a possessive man. The victim is going to know exactly how he fucked up as Toji brings a painful end to their life, as Toji explains to them like they’re a child before he watches the light drain from their eyes.

Toji is going to do his best to take care of you until whatever injuries you sustain have healed, but this isn’t necessarily a good thing. Toji isn’t exactly the most ideal of sickroom companions, and his bedside manner can be appalling. 

- ♡ -

♡ Mahito says that you are an interesting toy, an experiment - that you’re human, and you are expendable, like all of them are. His main goal, he tells himself, is more important than his silly feelings towards a squishy little person who doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care if you get hurt, if you die; if you were to disappear from his life tomorrow, he thinks, it wouldn’t matter. But he is lying to himself, because the minute that you are in the heat of battle and the path of something dangerous, something in him kicks in.

He normally does not pick fights he cannot win - there’s a streak of cowardliness in the middle of him, though he doesn’t often feel it due to knowledge of how powerful he is. But hearing your noise of pain, seeing your body tossed aside like trash awakens something in him. He does care about you, you’re not trash, you might be one of the only good things about the human world that has ever existed--

And Mahito throws himself into fighting with everything he has. When Mahito’s hand touches this poor creature that has had the misfortune to have attacked Mahito’s most beloved little human, they are going to become the guinea pig for some of the more unhinged experimentations with Idle Transfiguration that Mahito can do. And he hopes that they retain their consciousness all the way through it. He wants to make them suffer. 

-  ♡ -

[ciaran-archive]

Sorry to pry but can you elaborate on the authenticity post and what you don’t like about Ender’s Game? I don’t mean this in an accusatory way btw I genuinely wanna hear you complain about it.

WHY YES I WOULD LOVE TO BITCH ABOUT ENDER'S GAME

my fatal flaw as a person is that i cannot stop thinking about ender's game . like this book lives in my head in a way that far better books i've read just don't and i think that's partly because it did so much to me.

i read it when i was, 13, i think? like. i was just kind of figuring out that i was queer, i was weirdly uncomfortably obsessed with m/m relationships, even the vaguest implication of lesbianism made me feel sick and awful, i was pretty depressed, i had very few friends, and i wasn't....in a good place at all.

and i read ender's game and it kind of maybe saved my life? it showed me that being alone and being lonely weren't inherently a death sentence. it allowed me something i still don't have a name for. ender and valentine and peter felt like facets of a reality i nearly had, and in their reflection i could be something more like myself. who knows where i would have been but for ender's game!

it also fucked me up so bad.

one of the core messages of ender's game - and of a lot of OSC's other work - is that you cannot be truly Original, and you can't Create Anything Worth Creating, if you derive from the work of others. to make something Really Great you must isolate all your creativity and not allow anything else to influence it or it will be tainted and suspect forever. like not in those words but in that essence, that was clearly one of the subtexts of the book.

the other core message is "it is necessary for adults to hurt children; it is irresponsibly stupid as a child, especially a clever child, to trust that adults will ever not hurt you" and combined with the valorized loneliness of the first message it kind of.......still messes me up? and one of the reasons it fucked me up was because i was so bad at adhering to its lessons.

and that's my problem with ender's game at the end of the day: it's like drinking nuclear waste water when you're dying of thirst. like yeah it'll save your life but it'll also teach you how to justify doing the worst things possible (to yourself and others) and i was damned lucky that fiction was my first outlet for those urges and justifications because good god i don't like thinking about what it would've been like directed at myself without any barriers! and it was pretty bad even so!

OSC is also wildly unreasonably and rabidly homophobic so there's, uh, that. To Deal With.

the thing about authenticity is that it doesn't really exist. there's no true self, only selves less articulated or entirely unacknowledged for whatever reasons. sometimes those selves aren't given form because they have nothing to do with us. but we exist in a constant state of becoming; we are built in relation to our surroundings, and we can never strive to be free of influence. isolation is its own form of torture.

there are no authentic cultures either, only arbitrary markers we place in our pasts to delineate the "real" from the "influences" like every culture isn't a snapshot of its moment in time. things are always changing and turning into something new. they rarely become more "themselves" because the idea that you can strip away everything an outsider gave you and still end up with something either real or worth having is....kind of sad, really? do you want to know the person you are without everyone you've ever loved?

it's one thing to talk about capitalism and the commodification of the self and cults of personality and another to act like the very act of articulating your identity in a series of labels/aesthetics/shiny online things inherently corrupts your "soul". this process exists offline also; we are always building ourself to be approved of or disapproved of or reacted to or ignored by the people around us.

but people get really bogged down in the idea of authenticity and the specter of a real self that can be accessed by jumping through various hoops (go offline! go on instagram! make a succulent garden! get a tiktok! buy this thing!). and then they start acting superior because they don't need the internet to feel like their "real self" - as a friend said, sounds like they have a surprising amount of ability to be their real self with parents and bosses and cops - like i'm sorry! some of us are queer and trans and autistic and can't access an offline social group! and even if i did i would prefer to be online a lot of the time: the internet is full of spaces where i'm safe and in control, and that's just harder irl. and my experiences aren't any less valuable than those of someone with different ones.

...anyway, that's on authenticity.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...? 

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him. 

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb. 

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis. 

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy. 

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it. 

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then. 

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was. 

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano. 

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt. 

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face. 

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came. 

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day. 

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs. 

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school. 

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other. 

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable. 

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.” 

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense. 

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again. 

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

 But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou. 

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene. 

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed. 

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead.... 

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on. 

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him. 

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good. 

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side. 

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.  But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself. 

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone. 

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it? 

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation. 

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers? 

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1. 

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her? 

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react. 

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that. 

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death. 

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go. 

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life. 

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson. 

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.” 

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis. 

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her. 

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character. 

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible. 

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on? 

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving. 

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful. 

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed? 

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH. 

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs. 

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon. 

Which it’s not. So it’s fine. 

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha